so i totally forgot about this thing. i was trying to find a different blog besides my poLOLitics blog and my private one and i thought to myself "holy shit, eljay, come back into my lifeomfgz!". nah, it was less enthusiastic than that. but at least i'm writing something as opposed to nothing.

also, i may not come back to reed next year. i don't know how i'm going to tell all of my friends about it. i guess this is how i've chosen to tell some of you. errr...

it's just that i've figured out what i want to do with my life. and the ends are diametrically opposed to the path i am currently treading. the path of paying imaginary money for a piece of paper that will allow me to enter various money-making fields to a) pay back the imaginary money i paid for the piece of paper and b) play the consumer. i've come to the conclusion that i cannot continue to stumble blindly with the flow of bodies, allowing my thoughts and emotions to be swallowed up by the masses, to be neutralized by the system. as gandhi said, i must be the change i seek in the world. and in order to do this, i can't continue this way.

if enough of us live in the present and realize the awesome power of the human spirit, i believe that meaningless conflict and strife can be eliminated within the next century. i want to live in the present. i want to write until my fingers wither, i want to dance until my feet ache, i want to get people to understand. i don't think i can do that if i feel shitty about what i'm doing.

love.

here i am again, on what seems like the wrong side of the atlantic.

i'm broke and frustrated.

i'm lonely and bored.

but at times...like the fleeting moments that flashed this weekend...

i'm fulfilled and comfortable.

i'm stimulated and entertained.

i'm happy, sometimes.

i guess that's all i can really ask for. and the rest will just have to come with time. hopefully soon though.

[EDIT // i find it so ironic that a plug for pololitics was the last thing i posted before now.]

pololitics.blogspot.com

check it out. louis and i started this blog and we hope it will flourish into an established netroots-type ordeal. please spread the word and, if you're interested, get involved, share your thoughts, COMMENT, for god's sake!

pololitics.blogspot.com

Imagine Eminem's vocals in "Lose Yourself" set to a background of a chopped-up version of the Final Fantasy theme.

Norwegian Recycling FTW!

//end:geek.exe

"what's it gonna be?" asked the boy with no heart.

"what do you want from me?" replied the girl with no eyes.